User blog:UltravioletDragon/Not a Keeper thing! Suldreen, look here!
Chapter Two In which Aki does some magic, Appaloosa and Emi are annoying, and Four eavesdrops. I take the bus home, listening to a Moth Radio podcast on my phone. The spirits, freed from middle school at last, discuss the Leanne situation in the back of my mind. They’re speaking in Spiritese, a language of pattern and intensity rather than sound (there is a verbal version, but mine don’t use it), and my vision keeps flashing with various spots and swirls of light, some almost blinding and some inky black. I can speak fluent Spiritese, ever since they healed my concussion in fifth grade with their own power, but I’m choosing to ignore them. I get off and open up the house. Izumi had swim team and Atsuko is in chorus, so they’re both taking the activities bus today. Lois is so happy to see me back, she twirls in circles and barks her head off. I give her a bit of kibble to shut her up and lean on the counter between the kitchen and dining room as I take out my lunch. I was so busy talking with my spirits today, I didn’t eat most of it. I finish the leftovers cold. ' '''As I’m eating the chicken soup, which has cooled to a mushy pudding sort of thing, Four draws my attention. ''We have had little progress on the Leanne front, she says seriously, ''but Three has remembered an important fact about this afternoon. '' What is it?'' I think this loudly, addressing all of them. ' '''Three, with a skillful little flick, directs my attention to the large dry-erase calendar on the wall. It has, written for today in Leanne’s slanting print, Playdate with Appa, 4:30. I groan.' “Appa?” I complain. I speak out loud, since there’s only Lois to hear. Appa--Appaloosa Nirthal--is Emi’s best preschool friend, which means half of the time they hate each other. Playdates are a toss up; either the girls will conspire together, or they’ll throw Barbies at each other and shriek a lot. ''' ''There’s a lot of shrieking either way,'' One says snarkily. That is a fact. ' '''Since Dad won’t be home until after six today, after fourteen hours at work, and Leanne doesn’t get off until four, I have a half an hour in the house all by myself. (Lois doesn’t count. She can’t tattle on me.) “What should we do?” I ask. Lois looks up from licking her bowl extra-extra clean, ears pricked. ' '''Magic! Two almost yells. ''Magic, let’s do that! Make a mess? Three grumps, but it’s excited, too. ' '''One stirs, gathering up her swirling power. They all love it when I let them do impossible things and use me as their conduit. I try to be careful about it, but when I’m all alone like this, with the run of the place and clean-up time, it’s hard to resist. ' '“I could do science homework,” I say. I’m jesting, and they know it. ' 'Two, irritated, flares. Cinnamon tickles my nose, and I sneeze. ' '“My science homework is on static electricity,” I continue, letting them see where this is going. ' 'Two’s good at that, One says. She churns a little and sends a tickle down my spine. I shoulder my backpack and climb over the doggy gate. I have a plan. ' 'The stairs open up in the basement, into a large, tile-floored space. Off of this room, there are doors leading to the bed and bathrooms. This is the laundry room, decorated in the Japanese styles Leanne likes so much. One of the big features of Japanese decor is that it’s minimalist, and our house is way cleaner than three teenagers and an ankle-biter would have you believe. The high windows, at ground level, let in streams of bright light. I open my door and set my backpack and cardigan down on my bed. ' '''“What should we start with?” I ask. I sit crosslegged on the gray tiles in front of the dryer and drum my fingers on the floor. Lois whines from the top of the stairs. One and Two both uncurl, spilling out into my chest, my spine, my fingers. The sensations of them (Three says these are manufactured inside my own head) flood my senses. The smell of frost and cinnamon, the taste of rose and chili pepper, and their contrasting feels, blended into a thrumming velvet heartbeat. I raise my hands, Two in my left and One in my right. Fire and ice. Presence and absence. My breath comes in quick gasps, matching my heartbeat, and my eyes won’t focus. ''' ''Carefully, now'', One warns. Careful, careful. Two, turn that down a bit; humans are flammable. I would think you would remember that. ''' That is so not encouraging. ' '''Two’s fire subsides a little, from blinding to blazing, and he reaches out to touch One. The tendrils meet and jolt. I yelp and squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I can. I have no control here, none at all. I have to trust them. ' ''You can trust us.'' Three sounds so sure.'' I’ll protect you if they get out of hand. '' 'Something tickles my palms. I open my eyes and gasp even though I’m expecting what I see. Little threads of lighting leap in my hands, finger to finger, bright and sharp and ever so playful. I grin, and the grin spreads broader and broader until I’m laughing. ' ''Good job!'' I think, taking a deep breath to calm down. Three slips in and forces my emotions down. ' 'Want to control it? One asks. She pulls back, leaving only a tendril of magic in my hands. Two copies her. I suddenly have control over my fingers, and the lighting. I twiddle my fingers, and it copies my motion. The sparks, more spark than real lightning, gather in the space between my fingers. I twirl them together and then push the little ball tighter, tighter, tighter…''' It explodes in a shower of sparks. I yelp and duck, forgetting the spirits. ''' ''It’s temperametal'', One explains. Lighting and agreeable are not synonyms. ''' That was fun,'' Two says. Let’s do it again! Bigger! And not let Aki control this time; that goes bad. ''' “It’s my body, Two!” I snap. “I rather like having some control.” All four spirits give a mental shrug. They don’t really care if the host has that. ' '''My shirt has ash spots on it now, and there’s a little scorch mark on my knee. One surveys the damage and grumbles. I lie down on the floor in case I fall over. The magic is starting to fade, so I can taste the blood in my mouth; I must have nipped my tongue. ' ''Homework?'' Four suggests with a sigh. ' '“Yes,” I say sternly. I need to do it, and my worksheet should be much more exciting after a spot of lighting. Anything is much more exciting after playing with lightning on your laundry room floor. I’ve done magic dozens, maybe hundreds, of times. It never gets less interesting. ' 'You don’t usually get to play by yourself, Three says. It sends a soothing wash, and I breathe in the smell of the sea. ' '“Right,” I say. “Homework next.” ' '''I’m sitting at the kitchen counter, mostly completed worksheets and my textbook spread out in front of me, when Leanne arrives. “Anyone home?” she calls. “I hope so, because I thought I locked this door!”' “I’m here,” I answer. ''' ''That one’s C,'' Two says helpfully. I stare at the paper. I’m not even sure what he’s talking about. ' 'Opposites repel, he reminds me. I erase my answer and circle C instead. Two’s last host was a physics major, and he’s experienced a lot of high-level science. ' '“How are you?” Leanne asks, coming in. “How was school?”''' “It was school,” I say. Leanne sets her purse down on the counter and gets a glass from the cabinet. ' '“Well, how were your classes?” ' '“Um, we had two quizzes and played volleyball in gym. I just stayed away from the ball.” ' '“And how were your quizzes?” Leanne loves being a nosy parent. She fills her glass with tap water and leans against the counter as she drinks. ' '“The one in math was really easy, but Language Arts was confusing. Why should I be graded on my opinions?” That’s one of my biggest issues with English classes. ' '''Leanne keeps peppering me with questions, and I start to get suspicious. She doesn’t usually talk quite this much. ' ''She’s not letting you get a word in,'' Three says. I close my textbook and slip off my stool. ' 'You’re right, I think. Leanne is avoiding my questions, and, even though she seems less nervous, it’s there. “I’m going to put this away,” I say, holding up my worksheets and textbook. ' '''Once I’ve stuffed my school things back in my backpack, I flop down on my bed. I’m starting to feel in control of my body again. I can move my fingers without feeling the spirits stir, breathe without their presence heavy on my chest. The recovery gets slower every single time I do this, slower and slower until I think someday they will never leave my bones. ' That isn’t going to happen, Three insists. ''Your body has stopped rejecting us, but we can’t completely take over a conscious host. If you blacked out, we could take over, but not like this. You let us have every bit of power that we do. '' I have heard this a hundred, a thousand times, but it still comforts me--a little. I just have no way to prove if that’s true, so I take it with a grain of salt. I do wish I could trust them. You do, Four says. ''You do, way more than most hosts. I think it’s because we came to you when you were young and flexible...and lonely. '' I was lonely when they came to me, lonely, and empty, and lost. And I shiver to think that that made all the difference. ' '''I hear it when Appa and Emi come in. There are shrieks and yelps, a cry that has something to do with unicorns, and a door slams. I roll onto my stomach and bury my face in my pillow. “Lucky me,” I groan. One recoils. ' ''Why are they so loud?'' she complains. ' 'And you can go sulk in a corner of my head without auditory input, I say.'' I can’t. '' 'I sit up and consider my room. I could put away the stack of clothes I’ve been unmotivated to deal with for four days, or make my bed very neatly, or reorganize my cubby-hole bookshelf. I just feel like I need to do something. ' ''Magic?'' Two dares to suggest. ' 'No, you idiot, One snaps.'' We just tried that. It’s a human thing, not a desire to make trouble, Three says. ''She just needs something to keep her from thinking. ''' ''We can think of something, ''Four tells me, ''but I don’t think we’ll come up with good ideas. '' I pull out Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban again. I read in school some, so now I’m at Harry’s first Care of Magical Creatures lesson. ''' ''I want one of those books, Two says. ' You would, Four snips. ''' ''They’re funny!'' Two starts to swell, and Three intervenes. ' '''Fine, Two would like a biting book. Can we shut up and listen for a while to Aki’s excellent imagination? My spirits are always telling me I have an excellent imagination. ' '''As I read, the story starts to play out across my mind. I love the hippogriffs. Everything is perfectly organized, humor and tension and eagerness balancing out. I can imagine the scene like I was there; of course, if I was at Hogwarts, I wouldn’t be in this eventful class, because I’m a Ravenclaw. That thought, always a dangerous one, sends the spirits into debating their Hogwarts houses. I hate my brain sometimes. ' ''I think I’m a Ravenclaw,'' Four says. Like Aki, and Luna Lovegood. Smart, creative, and witty. ''' Two’s a Slytherin,'' One says, bright with merriment.' 'No, not that tactful, ''Three says. Gryffindor? Gryffindor works best. You’re a Slytherin. '' ''I think so, One answers, not the least bit offended. ' Go, go, Gryffindor! ''Two starts to chant. ' ''Three, Four says, is a Hufflepuff. '' ''That’s true. I tend to be the only one around here willing to '''do the hard work, or apply patience. ''Go, go, Gryffindor!'' Two is still chanting. He’ll keep it up until Four or One yells at him. He always does. ' '''I pass most of an hour like this, alternating between reading and listening to them discuss. I do make progress in the book. And, on rare occasions, their comments and bickering leads me to an interesting thought. Through it all, I barely hear any of Appa and Emi. They seem to be playing nicely. At one point I hear the patter of feet by my door, but they leave me alone. For a while, at least. ' I’m expecting it when Appa opens my door. Appa is a slender brunette who’s almost definitely going to be a popular girl by the time she’s my age. Now, she just rules the preschool with a sharp tongue, a stern glare, and a rounded band of minions. ' '''Emi appears beside her, grinning her shark grin. This is where I should mention that Emi and Appa are perfectly matched. They’re both dominant and destined for friends. Emi is lying low right now, letting Appa take control, but at some point Emi will bust out her credentials as a smartmouthed genius who speaks Japanese. (Thank Atsuko for that one.) I have spent way, way, way too much time listening to One and Four debate this, so I’m certain. ' '“What do you want?” I ask, closing the book with a snap. Three always remembers which page I was on. ' 'Appa just giggles. Emi slips in and stands over me, hands on hips. “Why not?” ' '“It is my room,” I say, very patiently. It’s no good to get angry with Emi. “What in here interests you?” ' '“She’s creepy,” Appa says in a whisper-yell. Emi giggles. ' 'They’re hovering, and it’s starting to annoy me. I sigh and lean my head back on my bed. Emi huffs out heavily, imitating me. How is it that little kids push all my buttons? ' ''You should probably go,'' Four warns. ' '''I stand quickly. ''I will. ''' Leanne and Appa’s mother, Jessica, are talking in the kitchen. Jessica is a paranoid, high-strung helicopter mom, who is always talking about how her husband works at the Pentagon. I mean, we’re in Arlington--it seems like everyone does. I open the fridge curiously. We don’t ever have snack food--Leanne says it encourages snacking--but I grab an apple. ''' ''Icky!'' Three snaps, drawing back. It hates apples, which is extremely odd to me. ' '“Well, I’m not sure what I would do,” Leanne says, checking her phone. Her teeth seize her lip and she stills visibly. She glances up at me, but I’m looking away and only catch her head movement out of the corner of my eye. ' 'A development… Four muses.' '“Chances are it’s not a problem, right?” Jessica asks. I feel a thread of anxiety, the feeling that comes from the spirits’ sense of the future. They can remember the future, and this will be relevant, eventually.' '''I flop down on the couch and return to reading.' Jessica finally leaves, taking Appa with her. Izumi and Atsuko come home and disappear into their rooms. Emi turns on the TV. Then Dad comes home. Leanne says hello and then adds, “Can I talk to you?” Dad nods and they go in their room. Leanne shuts the door. I wish we could hear this, I think, staring at the closed door. Leanne shares everything with Dad. ''' ''Leave it to me!'' Four stirs and starts to spill into my senses. Cedar, basil, and a mossy forest flood my nose, and my head starts to hurt. ' 'Close your eyes, Four insists. ' '''I do, leaning back on the living room sofa, bumping into a sleeping Lois, and then I can hear ''everything. ''' “Daiki, she’s in trouble.” Leanne sounds upset. I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the constant buzz of S''esame Street''. Four does something, and my parents’ voices grow louder. ' '“And you want to have her here? Really? Leanne, can’t--” “My mother can’t do it, and my brother can’t do it. Tarryn needs some support right now, and we’ve got the space--” “And her kids? Leanne, are you serious?” ' '“Yes, I’m serious! Tarryn’s only got Owen and Kyle. We have four kids--” “Can you imagine this? What?” “Daiki. She’s my sister.” ' '“I’ll think about it, okay?” ' '''Four retreats, leaving giddiness through me. ''So, I think, rubbing my forehead, ''Leanne wants Tarryn to stay with us. '' Tarryn is Leanne’s sister. She’s usually in a bad place, and I’ve only ever met her at Leanne’s wedding. And she’s got two kids, a little younger than me. ''' ''That makes perfect sense!'' Four is almost helpless with excitement. ''That’s why she’s acting so weird! And now I know something I definitely shouldn’t. I stare at Elmo squeaking on-screen and sigh. This has become way, way common. 'Chapter Three' 'In which everyone else learns about Tarryn, Atsuko flips out, and Aki’s attempts to get answers get (most probably) lies.' Leanne doesn’t say anything about Tarryn, or much else, at dinner, something I am not surprised about. No one else seems to notice her silence. Izumi is really eager to boast about his swim team--“We’ve got this season, hands down. Coach says we’re supersonic, practically!”--and Atsuko, not to be outdone, goes off about choir and how her Japanese teacher thinks she’s “brilliant”. Emi tries to put her spaghetti on her head. Dad hasn’t been home for dinner in a few days, and the strict togetherness feels forced. That could be just me, but… It is not just you,'' Three says. Leanne tries way too hard. ''' She could be a little less of a ‘good mother’, One adds. ''She kind of comes off as a fussy goose. '' Two helpfully inserts an image of a large silvery goose, with Leanne’s face, making chirpy noises over what looks like a fluffy baby bird, a seal pup, an unidentifiable copper puffball, and a bawling baby snow leopard. I burst out laughing. ' '''I get a couple of weird looks as I splutter on my mouthful, and Izumi says, “What did I do?” ' 'I just shake my head. “A thought,” I gasp. Do not do that!'' I think as loudly as I can at Two. He feels smug. I don’t get anything else on the Tarryn situation until the next morning. I come up to breakfast in a foul mood; I had a disturbing and nasty dream. Leanne drums her fingers on the table as I grab cereal. I can almost hear her thoughts, just like she’s one of my spirits. She’s wondering if she should tell us. ' '“Whatever is putting that look on your face,” I tell her, “I guarantee that Atsuko will flip out over it. Do not bring it up at breakfast.” Maybe I shouldn’t say that, but I don’t care right now. ' '“Oh,” Leanne says. She looks at me funny. I glance down at myself and sigh. ''' ''One, why did you let me put my shirt on inside out? Did you? One checks and starts to laugh. You are'' so out of it this morning. ''' After school, Atsuko and I have a school therapy session, which means we whine to each other. Atsuko is a champion complainer, and she keeps lapsing into Japanese. I am okay in Japanese, but she’s fully fluent and speaks too fast for me to catch everything. Several times, I have to tell her to slow down. We have similar things to whine about, from friends to teachers to the classes themselves, and by the end we’re both giggling hopelessly. ' '“Math is pretty annoying,” I say finally, getting up from the couch to get water. ' '“Never said a truer word,” Atsuko calls after me. ' '“Are you two done bitching?” Izumi says, climbing over the doggy gate. ' '“Absolutely not,” Atsuko says instantly. ''' ''I should pick teenagers for all my hosts,'' Two says cheerfully. ''They’re so funny! Leanne arrives just a minute or two later, dragging a bawling Emi. “Hi,” she says breathlessly. “Atsuko, what’s this about Ezra?” ' '“He asked me out,” Atsuko says, pulling her homework out of her backpack. “It’s just Mallory’s party, but I was hoping I could go… Ezra’s okay.” She starts to bite her lip, just like Leanne when she’s nervous. ''' ''That’s adorable,'' One says cynically. ' 'Be polite, Four snaps. If Atsuko likes this boy, you shouldn’t comment. You’re not even in her head, and sure as anything Aki’s not going to relay that opinion. ''' “Of course--Em, shut up--you can go, Atsuko.” Leanne glares at Emi, points at the corner, and finally looks at Atsuko. “He’s cute, is he?” ' '“Ezra’s adorable,” Izumi says. “I really think Atsuko shouldn’t even try.” ''' '''I look down at the scuffed-up floor, at the marker squiggles drawn by Emi. “Thanks ever so,” Atsuko says, tossing her ponytail. ' '“Oh, and Tarryn is coming to stay with us,” Leanne says quickly, just slipping it in there like she’s hoping it won’t be noticed. Yeah. Like that’ll work. ' '“What?” Izumi yelps, whirling to face her. “Seriously? Tarryn?” ' '“When? For how long? Why?” Atsuko adds. A thought hits her, and she pauses. “Not with Owen and Kyle.” ' '“She needs a place right now,” Leanne says, shrinking a little under the combined glares. “And yes, of course she’s bringing her kids.” ' '“That is too far!” Atsuko snaps. “Why do we have to deal with them? I’ve already got school and friends and her--” Atsuko points at Emi, who has stopped wailing because it’s more fun to watch Atsuko get really upset-- “and now this?” ' '“It might not be for long,” Leanne says. I drop my face in my hands, my hair, which is free today, falling around me like a curtain. Leanne is so bad with upset teenagers, it’s like she forgot she was one. ' '“‘Might’ isn’t ‘will’,” Atsuko says. She repeats the statement in Japanese, as if to underscore. And then she starts complaining, glaring at Leanne.'' “You open to anyone, and you don’t think about us. Your sister is grown, and we, your children, aren’t! How do you even know what you’re getting into? How do you…”'' She speaks in Japanese, since she never gets into trouble for the things Leanne can’t understand. ''' ''Leanne should have headed her off already,'' Three says. You can’t let her get going. ''' I think Leanne was hoping Atsuko would be happy about her date and not bother, I think. ' Yes, because Atsuko always misses a chance to get upset. One is very fond of sarcasm, and sometimes Izumi or Dad tells me off for echoing her too often. ''' '''Leanne tries to protest what Atsuko is yelling, but she is really wrong about what Atsuko’s saying. “No one else could take Tarryn!” she tries, just as Atsuko snaps, ''“And Kyle’s a giant jerk for a little kid!” '' “Not what she’s saying,” Izumi says, shaking his head. ' '“Well then, what’s she saying?” Leanne says crossly. ' '“I’m not telling,” Izumi says. “Then you’ll be mad at me.” ''' ''You know, I sympathize,'' One says. Siblings are tricky. ''' Life is tricky, I say, ''but that’s no reason to take it at face value. '' You listen to Four too often, One says. ' '''I manage to escape without Atsuko catching me, and I hurry downstairs. Lois leaps at the gate as I’m clambering over it, and I swat her nose. ''So, that’s a mess, I think. ''' ''It’s just your affinity to escape Atsuko in a fighting mood, One says. ' ''Well, she’s going to keep going for half an eternity, ''Three says. ''I would escape if I had a body. '' I flop down on my floor and grab The Giver. I want to read those last two chapters again, with Three paying attention, so it can help me on the test. ''' ''That’s technically cheating, Three says. ' ''Is it? ''I think, grinning in spite of myself. ''I thought you were just voices, voices in my head. '' Don’t play that card, Three says, but it starts to listen. I read all the way to the end of the book, not letting the spirits distract me. ' '''I sneak back upstairs to put ''The Giver ''back in my backpack. Emi is standing on the table mashing a clementine into the tablecloth. Leanne is arguing with Izumi as she makes dinner. My brother has at least thought to use English. I drop my book on my backpack, right by the stairs, and then go over to lean against the counter. ' '“Did you see what’s Emi’s up to?” I ask. Leanne turns around and then yelps. ' '“Emi! Get off of there!” Leanne rushes over and seizes the girl under her armpits. She lifts a squealing Emi off the table and then blinks at the mess. ' '“Did you know about Tarryn before?” Izumi asks, frowning at me. ' '“I could tell there was something,” I say. “And Tarryn makes sense, right?” I’m not going to mention eavesdropping. ' ''Good idea,'' Four says. ' '“How could you even notice that!” Izumi protests. “It was invisible! But I was talking to Leanne, and I think there’s nothing we can do. Tarryn really ''needs help.” He looks down the hallway, into the living room. I lean over enough to glimpse Atsuko sitting on the floor, surrounded by papers and muttering about trigonometric identities. Izumi meets my eyes. “No matter what Suko thinks.” ' I decide to shower before dinner, since it gets me away from Atsuko’s stewing. As I’m waiting for the water to turn hot, I think to ask, ''Why aren’t any of you in Atsuko’s head? I’m sure there’s space. '' '''I’ve wondered things along this line before, but they usually just ignore me. It’s a little surprising when One says, ''She’d make a terrible host. But why?'' I ask, watching water drum on the bamboo-patterned shower curtain. ' 'Not everyone can be a host, Four says. ''Humans, as a general rule, make terrible hosts. You worry and busy, live just in your own skull. We want to take humans to observe, and there are not that many observers. You have a gift for it. Well, how do you know who’s a good host? I step into the water. Our water pressure is really high, but Leanne has the hot water heater turned really low, so I’m battered by lukewarm water. ' It’s a feeling, ''Two says, like an aura. Almost a smell. Is it a smell? It strikes me as a smell. '' “Do I smell bad?” I say this out loud--I always speak out loud in the shower. ''' ''No, not really.'' Four ripples a little as she answers, as if amused. ''More strong. You glow, like… ginger, or something… but less now, because we mask it so no more spirits will find you. We don’t usually go this many to a brain, ''Two says. ''But you adapted so well to One, she let the rest of us in. Hosts are few and far between. I pause as I shampoo my hair. “What are you?” It’s a sudden impulse, one I can’t remember ever getting an answer to. “Where do you come from?” ''' ''Well, Four says, when a llama lays a sparkle-glitter egg, and the egg is hatched under a large tree, that is where we come from. '' 'I burst out laughing and have to rub soap out of my face. “And you’ve been around for a long time?” I challenge. She totally made that up. ' ''Oh, yes, for a very long time,'' One says. Longer than there have been birds, I think. ''' “Longer than there have been llamas,” I quip. My eye stings. ''' ''You don’t know that,'' Four says sincerely. ' '''I reach for Three, but its quiet swirling is nowhere to be found. I guess it’s keeping out of the way so the others can feed me a heap of (probably) lies. I resign myself to a bit of fun and ask, “Really? Llamas are dinosaurs?” ' One seems to give me a smirk. ''Definitely. '' “And how many spirits are there?” I start to rinse out my hair. ''' ''Billions and billions and billions!'' Two blurts instantly.' 'Twenty-three, ''One says, almost at the same time. ' “Right,” I say. I can’t help smiling. I keep this up as I wash, dry, and get dressed in my bedclothes. I get a huge range of answers, most of them completely ridiculous. For example, I’m pretty sure spirits don’t reproduce by getting together in large groups and pitching in bits of energy and identity to create a ‘new-thing’. That’s how you buy a pizza at a middle school sleepover. And that contradicts the llama thing. ' '"You all are ridiculous," I tell them finally, dragging a brush through my hair. "Utterly ridiculous. Has anything you’ve told me been true?" Actually, one piece of information was entirely accurate, and several were close, Three says, making a reappearance. ''But I am not telling which. '' Dinner is fine, just kind of stitled. Atsuko talks very little, and all she does say (‘pass the eggplant’ and ‘school was fine’ and suchlike) is in Japanese. Dad keeps scolding her, but she shrugs and refuses to change. “It’s fine,” Leanne says. “It’s my fault.” ' '“It’s not,” Dad says, but he lets it drop. ' '''I clear the table all by myself, and even load the dishwasher. “What are you doing, Teacup?” Izumi asks, coming to help. He nods at my pajama pants, which are patterned with white and blue chinaware. “That’s your new nickname.” It’s better than last week’s ‘IKEA’, which I can’t remember how it started. ' ''He was looking for things that sound anything like Aki,'' Three says. ' 'Oh, right, I think. I don’t think IKEA sounds like Aki, but whatever. ' '“I’m helping,” I say. “You know, that thing you don’t like.” ' '“Burn,” Izumi says. He grins at me and jams a few more forks into the utensil tub. “See? I. Am. Helping.” He spaces out the words. ' '“After I did almost everything,” I say. ' '“You are painfully chatty today,” Izumi remarks. “What’s gotten into you?” ' '“A llama,” I blurt, thinking of the spirits’ llama story. And I refuse to explain at all. ' 'Chapter Four' 'In which Aki has a prolonged conversation, Atsuko sees sense, and Emi performs a coup of the playground. 'The next day is Friday, which is a bad day to be in school. Everyone is sick of public education by Friday. It doesn’t help that we’re getting pretty close to Halloween, and costumes, parties, and candy is on everyone’s mind. At lunch, I sit at my end of my table, all alone with eggplant parmesan and my spirits. Instead of being left in my normal silence, Esme scoots over to talk to me. ' '“Hello,” she says. “Did you know you have stickers in your hair?” Esme is smiling brightly, her braces peeking out, and I can’t think of why she’s talking to me. ' '“Um,” I mumble, pulling my hair, free again today, forward. “Do I?” ' 'Esme nods seriously and starts to pick them out. I feel twitchy, but I force myself to stay calm as she sticks the stickers onto my hand. They’re sparkly unicorn stickers, some of Emi’s favorites. I have no clue when she attacked me with them, but I was pretty zoned-out during breakfast. ' '“I think that’s all of them,” Esme says. She blinks at the torn sticker on her finger and then up at me. “Do you happen to have a little sister?” ' '“Yes,” I say. I let myself smile, and Esme’s own grin broadens. It makes her eyes a little squinty, but I can still see the hazel. Esme is a freckled, tiny girl, about as tiny as I am. She’s got blue paint on her hands and in her stubby brown braid. Esme’s an artist. ' ''Be honest,'' Four whispers. She seems to be the only spirit alert; the rest are in school-induced hibernation. ' '''Fine. I also happen to have a severe crush on her. ' “I figured,” Esme says, and it takes me a second to remember that we were discussing sisters. “Pink glitter unicorns seem like a little-girl thing, but not an Aki thing.” “Or an Esme thing,” I say. ' '“Nothing is wrong with glitter, bane of shag carpets!” Esme looks around to see if anyone reacted to her raised voice. “There is a lot with the hyper-sexualization of children’s toys, but we weren’t discussing that.” ' '“No,” I agree. “But I have a four-year-old sister, Emi.” ' '“What’s she like?” Esme asks. “I’m an only child, so I’m not used to sibs. Is she just like you?” ' '“Emi does not look like me,” I say. “Well, she has a Japanese face, but she’s got toffee hair, just like her skin, and hazel eyes. Sort of like yours.” Emi’s eyes have just the faintest hint of mossy green in the chocolate, though. Esme’s are this mash of gold and russet and emerald, like the glitter she so defends. ' '“I have weird eyes,” Esme says. “I know it, you know it, we all know it.” ' '“I think they’re cool.” I take a bite of my food before I can say anything else. It’s still hot from the microwave. Esme drags over her cafeteria pizza and chews some with a crinkled nose. ' '“Your eyes are nice, like shadows. But is Emi like you?” ' '“No. She’s bossy and popular and speaks Japanese to be a showoff. None of my siblings are much like me.” I stir my food. ' '“You speak Japanese?” Esme asks. “I mean, I’ve seen you in Spanish class, but…” '''“Ee,” I say. “My mother made sure all of us knew it, and Atsuko’s teaching it to Emi.” It’s very weird to be questioned about family stuff in school. People don’t talk much about that, especially to me. ' '“I really want to be bilingual,” Esme says. She takes a bite of her apple and then spits it right out. “Who decided on Red Delicious?” she demands, turning back to her friends at the other end of the table. They all shrug, and one girl--I think her name is Aviana--says, “Cafeteria food has to be horrible. They’re just conforming.” ' '“It’s a conspiracy,” Esme tells me, her eyes wide. “A giant conspiracy to keep us away from decent apples.” ' '“That’s why I bring my own lunch,” I say. I can’t believe how long this discussion has gone on. Maybe I should let Emi sticker my hair more often. ' '“My house is officially a food desert. I could have brought an entire jar of peanut butter or some dried kidney beans, but that was about all we had,” Esme says. “I’ll get on Mom about the shopping.” ''' Category:Blog posts